Harry Situations
by Windblown Wallflower
Summary: Series of one-shots, prompts, drabbles, and challenges. And some plunnies in need of a good home.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** This fic is a series of random one-shots that pop into my head, which may be expanded into full-fledged stories depending on reviews and inspiration. Aria is an OC from the Recital of Aria Black which I will be posting shortly.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the rabid plunnies that these stories came from, everything else belongs to its creators.

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"Hello and welcome readers of all ages, creed, and species!" announced Aria dramatically.

"Aria what are you doing?" asked Harry.

"Announcing, what does it look like I'm doing?" asked Aria shooting Harry a cocky grin.

"Announcing what?" asked Harry.

"Don't know." answered Aria.

"I can see that but shouldn't we get going?" asked Harry.

"I guess. If we stay here in the void too long we could tear the fabric of reality and I suppose we don't want that." replied Aria.

"We don't, so let's get going" said Harry.

"Onwards then!" cried Aria, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

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**A/N:** There is a note on this later but I decided to repost this under the main archive because it will feature several one-shots strictly from the HP-verse. I just thought this would be a fun way to get things started plus it's a nice little almost breach of the fourth wall.

**REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED**


	2. Twiligt: Black Mischief

**Black Mischief**

**Disclaimer: **Everything is the property of it respective owners all I own are the rabid plunnies responsible for the plots.

**Warning:** T for language.

**Summary:** This is one-shot a Twilight/HP fic that just popped into my head one day AU for HBP and set after Breaking Dawn. Aria accidently de-ages Harry, in order to keep the pint sized hero from his enemies she leaves with an old friend in the unassuming town of Forks.

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Bella stood next to her husband watching as their daughter engaged in a game of chess with her Uncle Jasper. When the doorbell rang which wasn't all that extraordinary, nevertheless everyone in the house stiffened, because the person ringing the doorbell had a peculiar and unfamiliar scent. Bella felt a niggling in the back of her mind and felt that the scent was something she should recognize. As she was closest to the door Bella got there first. She opened it to see a cheerful looking young woman.

The woman had raven hair that flared out wildly stopping just past her shoulders. Her storm grey eyes were flecked with blue and full of mischief as she grinned at Bella. She was wearing a worn leather jacket with a plain white t-shirt underneath it, navy jeans, and leather boots that came up to her knees. Bella felt a stirring of recognition in the back of her mind as she looked at the woman.

"Hey Bella Beanie! Long time no see!" exclaimed the woman.

Bella looked at the woman before her again as hazy human memories floated to the surface of her mind. After a few seconds recognition lit her eyes as she remembered who the stranger in front of her was.

"It's okay I know her we went to school together in Arizona" said Bella to quickly for human hearing to pick up.

"What's she doing here?" hissed Rosalie.

"I don't know." answered Bella.

"She's not alone I sense another heart beat with her. They both smell weird, not like food at all" said Jasper.

"Find out what she's doing here" said Rosalie.

"Alright. Anything wrong love" said Bella as she looked at Edward who was staring at their visitor with an intense look.

"I can't read her mind either." said Edward.

Bella heard the sharp intakes of breath and shocked gasps at Edward's frustrated admission. She could see that both Alice and Jasper had adopted looks of fierce concentration.

"I can't get a good read on her emotions" said Jasper.

"I can't see anything either but it's different than with the wolves or Nessie, her future is blurry" added Alice.

"I think you should see what she wants but be careful love." said Edward and Bella nodded slightly. The entire conversation had happened in a matter of seconds and Bella saw that her friend was still standing there looking at her with amusement.

"Hi Aria" said Bella

"You look older Bells must have been puberty. I heard ya tied the knot sorry I couldn't make the wedding I was having some family troubles. I meant to send a present but I never did get around to doing that. Oh well, it's good to see ya again. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by and say congrats to finally ending up the old ball and chain." said Aria.

"So you were just in the area?" asked Bella arching an eyebrow and shifting he weight and fidgeting a little like she would when she was still human.

"Well I also have a teeny weenie favor I need to ask ya. Here!" said Aria and with that she shoved a baby carrier into Bella's arms and tossed a couple duffle bags into the house which were caught easily.

"What?" asked Bella confused at the infant carrier she had found shoved into her arms with surprising speed.

"I need ya to babysit him for a week. Thanks. Toodles!" shouted Aria. She hopped onto an idling motorcycle that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Before the vampires could even blink she was gone, nothing more than a speck of dust in the distance.

"What the hell just happened?" asked Emmett who was looking just as confused as the rest of the family.

If Bella weren't so shocked she would probably find the whole thing more amusing but she was a bit preoccupied by her jumbled thoughts. Aria had managed to take an entire coven of vampires by surprise and leave behind a squealing infant before they could so much as blink. She couldn't help it the humor of the situation caught up to her and she cracked up as the others sent her slightly worried glances.

"Bella, love are you okay?" asked Edward gently.

"Yes" answered Bella who was certain if she had still been human would have been breathless and wiping away tears of mirth. "It's just we were all surprised by a human despite our speed. in fact I doubt we'll even be able to catch up to her"

"True but what are we going to do about the baby? He can't stay here." said Jasper.

"Well he doesn't smell like food so I don't think it'll be a problem if we're careful plus Jake can help." said Bella thoughtfully. She glanced down at the carrier and saw that the baby was resting peacefully his raven locks curled against his forehead and she could make out a scar just beneath his bangs. Oddly enough it was shaped like a lightning bolt.

"I don't know if that's a good idea Bella" said Carlisle hesitantly.

"Can I see him?" asked Esme gently. She had been slowly inching closer to Bella and the baby as were Rosalie and Alice. Renesme also looked curious but she stayed put by the chessboard. Esme sent her mate a reassuring smile as she gently reached for the carrier that Bella was holding.

"Oh he's just adorable" cooed Esme as she gazed at the peaceful infant. Rosalie peered over her shoulder and nodded in agreement.

"I don't know maybe we could leave him with Charlie" suggested Emmett who cringed at all the glares he received from the women.

"Charlie hasn't taken care of a baby since I was a baby besides she asked me to take care of him." said Bella shrugging uncertainly.

"She will be coming back for him though, right?" asked Jasper.

"I think she will. Alice can you see anything?" asked Bella turning to the pixie like vampire.

Alice closed her eyes and her brow furrowed slightly in concentration as she sifted through the different possible futures. A few minutes later she opened her eyes and smiled brightly at her family. Jasper could feel his mate's exuberance and he wondered what she had seen.

"Everything's going to be just perfect. We need to go shopping!" squealed Alice excitedly. She bounced around and ran out of the room with Jasper following her.

"What did she see?" asked Bella her question directed at Edward.

"I don't know she started thinking of the Greek alphabet so I only got pieces of what she saw" answered Edward irritably.

"Don't worry love I trust Alice, everything will be all right." said Bella.

"Yes I suppose you're right as always." said Edward with a crooked smile as he walked up and put his arms around her waist.

"Well at least things won't be boring" said Bella.

"They never are." said Edward with a slight laugh.

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**A/N:** This was inspired by Magic Mischief from Journee. Aria is an OC from the yet to be written Recital of Aria Black. For this story Aria knew Bella from when she lived in Phoenix.


	3. Avengers: Congratulations, It's a Boy

**Congratulations, It's a Boy!**

**Summary:** This one-shot is a random idea popped into my head after reading some of the Harry is the child of an Avenger stories. This is set during the shwarma scene. As for Harry Potter this is set after just HBP. I did this because I've seen several fics where Harry is the child of Hawkeye and Natasha so I thought it would be hilarious to do Natasha and Tony instead.

**Warning:** T for language

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, all characters and etc. belong to their respective owners.

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The Avengers were sitting in one of the still standing restaurants in New York, celebrating their victory with shwarma. Tony had promptly dragged them to the nearest shwarma place after recovering from one of his first and almost last selfless act. The team had obliged him, trudging to the closest place they could find that was still open and serving. As they were eating three teenagers entered the restaurant and made a beeline straight towards them.

"Excuse me," asked a girl's voice, "are you the Avengers?"

All of the Avengers looked up staring at the girl who had asked the question. They glanced at the trio were standing in front of them uncertainly. The girl had bushy brown hair and was standing to the left of a boy with messy black hair. The boy with black hair was staring at the ground and his fringe cast a shadow over his eyes. Standing to the right of the black haired boy was a taller boy with bright orange hair and lots of freckles.

"What do you want?" demanded Tony, "If you're looking for autographs come back later"

"We're not here for autographs" blurted the taller boy who winced as the girl slapped his shoulder.

"Well then what are you here for? You look a little young to be SHIELD." said Tony.

"Well, Harry?" asked the girl turning towards the boy with black hair.

"Hermione let's just go, I don't think that this is such a good idea…" muttered Harry as he continued looking at the floor. True he had been looking forward to meeting two of these people since he'd learned of their existence, but he was rather nervous not that he was actually meeting them.

"Harry James Potter!" screeched Hermione turning away from the group and towards the boy, "Do you think we came all the way from London just so you could turn around?"

"I'm sorry Mione I just don't think we should do this. I mean this is probably a bad time" responded Harry with slightly more confidence though he continued to study the ground.

"Sorry?" continued Hermione, "Harry they probably want to meet you as much as you wanted to meet them. They have a right to know. I didn't spend weeks researching this just so you could back out at the last minute!"

"So I have no right to do this. What about Vo—Riddle? If he finds out they'll be in danger and I'm not losing anyone else to him!" shouted Harry who finally looked away from the ground to glare at Hermione.

"You're being an idiot. Ron tell him he's being an idiot." said Hermione turned towards the tall redhead. She knew that the people in front of them were listening to their conversation intently and tried to avoid mentioning magic.

"Well you are being a bit of an idiot mate," agreed Ron, "besides you saw what they did to those monster things. The Death Eaters wouldn't stand a chance against them."

"Fine," replied Harry, "if things go wrong we're getting out of here immediately."

"Fine," huffed Hermione who obviously disagreed with the idea. "Though you really shouldn't be so pessimistic about this, honestly everything will turn out fine."

The Avengers watched the argument with varying shades of bemusement and suspicion. They didn't act at all like normal teenagers and they were quite obviously hiding something. Their eyes all widened with shock as the boy with black hair straightened up and turned towards the Avengers revealing his eye color. Natasha's eyes widened in shock and stared at the pair of green eyes that were an exact copy of her own.

"Hello I'm Harry Potter," said Harry reluctantly.

"Who are you?" demanded Clint.

"Damn the old goat must have erased their memories too." said Ron who found himself on the receiving end of glares from both of his friends.

"Shut it Ron. They are muggles." hissed Hermione keeping her voice low.

"But they're Harry's parents!" shouted Ron.

"Well that went well." said Harry exasperatedly. He glanced warily at the six stunned people in front of him. None of them were moving as they all focused on the trio. He could see the suspicion and alertness in the way they were sitting.

"Ronald Weasley you idiot!" shouted Hermione moving around Harry and smacking Ron upside the head.

"What?" asked Ron as Hermione continued to glare at him, "His dad is the one in the Gryffindor suit that can shoot stunners from his hands and his mum is the one with red hair right?"

Harry was glancing at the group sitting around the table, if he didn't know any better then he would have thought they'd been immobilized. A heavy silence descended as Harry found himself being thoroughly examined by six pairs of eyes. He was so focused on the exchange that he didn't hear Hermione shouting at Ron, berating him for his lack of tact. Things were definitely not turning out as he had hopped but they were not turning out as bad as he feared either.

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**A/N:** I've decided to put my notes at the bottom for this stories. Some stories may be slightly choppy because most of them are plot bunnies that I've decided to expand on. These are mostly here for me to see the reaction to and get some more ideas for in the form of reviews. Most of these I have planned to be longer stories. So some of these can be seen as either previews or excerpts for some future stories. There will be several actual one-shots mixed in as well. Also for this story think it's pretty reasonable that Nat and Tony met in their younger and wilder days and had sex. That said Pepper probably isn't going to be too happy.

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	4. Supernatural: A-Hunting We Will Go

**A-Hunting We Will Go**

**Disclaimer:** Neither belongs to me so don't sue.

**Warning:** Older T for language and violence.

**Summary:** A one-shot on a Harry Potter/Supernatural crossover. Set after DH and non-epilogue compliant. Set in season one Supernatural.

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Harry sighed and shut the book he was reading closed. He glanced at the book and drummed his fingers against the table. They were sitting in an inexpensive hotel surrounded by several papers. He glanced across the table at his god-brother who was tapping a rhythm with his fingers and humming.

"Really, Arian?" asked Harry looking at his god-brother with exasperation. He recognized the tune he was humming and rolled his eyes at Arian. He thought it was in bad taste given their current predicament and couldn't help himself from commenting on it. He knew that Arian was bored which was not a good thing as Arian tended to be a bit of a pain when he was bored. Something Harry knew for a fact Arian inherited from his father.

"What?" he asked innocently, batting his eyelashes at Harry. Harry rolled his eyes at the older man's antics as he was quite used to Arian's behavior.

"That song is totally inappropriate." said Harry.

"Well we are a-hunting" stated Arian.

"No we're being a-hunted by a bunch of demons." said Harry.

"Same-difference" said Arian nonchalantly.

"Not to mention you just shot Sam and Dean's father!" shouted Harry.

"I told you that was an accident." said Arian defensively.

"I highly doubt that" stated Harry.

"It was just a coincidence that the gun was aimed there and besides if I had done it on purpose I wouldn't have used rock salt." said Arian.

"That's what you said the first time you did it!" cried Harry.

"Well he was fine then and he'll be fine now. I'm sure he still has the ability to perform. Besides it's not like he has any plans on reproducing anyways. I think three Winchesters is more than enough for the world to handle." said Arian flippantly.

Harry looked around as he heard the door open. He saw Sam and Dean were carrying several bags and moved over to help them. The brothers had decided to go on a food run while Aria and Harry did some research on their current hunt. They were waiting on some intel from one of

Arian's contacts and then he had become bored. Harry was glad that the brothers had returned when they did as the conversation had taken an uncomfortable turn.

"So did you find anything?" asked Sam. They were sitting at a small table that was now piled with food from the nearest diner. Harry busily took everything from the bags and dished out the food.

"Not yet we're waiting on one of Arian's contacts." said Harry as he sat down.

"So what were you talking about when we go in?" asked Sam.

"You're father's salmon swimming upstream and general ability to procreate." answered Arian candidly.

Harry then thumped Dean on the back as he choked on the sandwich he had just taken a bite of while Sam turned an alarming shade of green. Arian chortled with mirth at their reactions as Harry shot him reproachful looks. He was not pleased with Arian's attempts at entertaining himself. Arian was unabashed and Harry could tell his god-brother was getting ready to say something even more disturbing.

"I didn't need to hear that!" cried Sam.

"Oh don't be such a baby. After all you were born because your parents—" said Arian.

"I don't need to hear your opinions on my father doing the dirty!" interrupted Dean. He then tinged green as he thought about what he just said.

"Gross!" shouted Sam who was looking even more nauseous.

"Arian quit it you're traumatizing them! You're traumatizing me!" shouted Harry. He really didn't want to hear any more of Aria's opinions on John Winchester's night activities. He knew it would eventually lead to even more alarming topics. Arian could be quite randy when he wanted to be and that was not something Harry wanted to endure.

"All right" huffed Arian.

"Right now back to the hunt. From what we've seen so far I think the creature we're after is a Succubi of some sort." said Harry.

"A Succubi?" asked Dean.

"A temptress," answered Arian, "our problem is figure out exactly what kind of temptress we're dealing with."

"There are different kinds?" asked Dean.

"Several and what kills one Succubi will not kill another. So we need to find out the specifics of this demon which we can work out from their hunting pattern. My contact specializes in temptresses so hopefully it'll give us a better look at things." said Arian.

"Cool" said Dean.

"So what do we do now?" asked Sam.

"We hunt" answered Arian. He resumed humming and much to Harry's annoyance he chose the same tune.

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	5. Avengers: Asking for Directions

**Asking for Directions**

**Disclaimer:** Belongs to Rowling, Stan Lee, and friends.

**Warning:** T

**Summary:** Aria and Harry are lost trying to find their way to the Jersey Shore. They ask for directions from the nearest source The Avengers. Set after DH non-epilogue compliant. Set in Marvel's Civil War.

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"We're lost" said Aria.

"We're not lost" argued Harry.

"Are too." insisted Aria.

"Are not-you know what I'm not getting into that argument again." said Harry.

"Let's just stop and ask someone for directions." said Aria.

"We don't to ask for directions, we're not lost." stated Harry.

"You just don't want to admit that we're lost." said Aria smugly.

"That's because we aren't lost." insisted Harry

"We are lost and I'm going to ask for directions." said Aria.

"We don't need directions we have a map which we don't need because we're not lost." said Harry.

"Oh yeah? If we aren't lost then can you tell me where we are Einstein?" asked Aria raising her eyebrows at Harry.

"We're somewhere in New York." answered Harry.

"Somewhere in New York. Oh that does us so much good. Do you know how big New York is?" demanded Aria.

"Err" replied Harry sheepishly.

"Besides I'm pretty sure that we're supposed to be going west and we're currently eastbound." stated Aria.

"No New Jersey is west we're heading in the right direction." insisted Harry.

"Well I'm asking for directions" said Aria mulishly.

"Ok fine ask away." said Harry exasperated. He knew better than to try and sway his god-sister when she had her mind set on something.

"I know we'll ask those guys over there." said Aria. Harry saw that she was pointing at a group of fighting people that Harry vaguely recognized as the Avengers. He was surprised to see that they were fighting each other. They were causing a large amount of destruction as well, and he could see that there was a large perimeter around the heroes that nobody dared to cross. Harry watched in resignation as Aria unbuckled and got out of the car. Harry parked the car in the middle of the deserted street and scrambled after his god-sister.

"Hey! Excuse me!" shouted Aria. She waved her arms and shouted but to no avail as the fighting heroes continued to ignore her as they pounded each other into the pavement. Huffing with frustration she waved left hand at her throat and muttered '_Sonorous_'.

"HEY! OVER HERE! YOU FIGHTING MORONS!" shouted Aria. Her voice now amplified so loud that several nearby windows shattered. Further out several windows rattled and shook from the vibrations of Aria's voice.

Harry rolled his eyes as her choice of words. He was just glad he had been standing a decent distance away when she decided to amplify her voice. The last time she had amplified her voice Harry had the misfortune of standing next to her and had gotten his eardrums blown out. They hadn't talked for weeks after that, though that was mostly because he couldn't hear for that long. He saw that Aria had managed to get the heroes to stop fighting and all of them were now looking at Aria like she was crazy. He didn't blame them.

"STOP FIGHTING YOU IDIOTS! WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE JERSEY SHORE! CAN YOU HELP US? WE NEED SOME DIRECTIONS!" shouted Aria at the top of her lungs and with the magical amplification caused the sound waves to shatter several windows. Several of the heroes were holding their hands over their ears.

"Listen lady we are in the middle of something." said Wolverine.

"Hey I'm just trying to get to Jersey Shore." said Aria she was no longer shouting but her voice was still magnified.

"You have no business here." said Iron Man.

"I'm just trying to get some directions." said Aria.

"No defense but are you crazy?" asked Spiderman.

Harry watched warily as all the superheroes started to move towards him and Aria. He really hoped she didn't piss them off as he did not relish the idea of pissing these people off. He could tell that most of them were trying to figure out what was happening. He sort of felt sorry for the poor blokes as they were getting dangerously close to being on the wrong end of Aria's temper.

"Look I just need some directions. Tell me how to get to Jersey Shore and I'll be outta your hair." stated Aria.

"Look, I'm sure there's a police officer or someone else we could ask." said Harry.

"Yeah listen to your boyfriend." chirped Spiderman.

"One he's not my boyfriend, he's my brother you bonehead, two it's not like you're doing anything so just give me some directions and I'll leave." said Aria.

"Miss, I'm sorry but you're going to have to leave." said Captain America.

"Why? As far as I could see all you were doing is pounding each other into the ground. Now you're all standing around awkwardly gawking at the poor lost tourist." said Aria.

"Look—" started Iron Man.

"No you look, I'm trying to show by little brother a good time. You Neanderthals are keeping me from doing that. I bet most of you don't even know what you're fighting about. Do you know why? Because you're men and instead of using your brains you've decided to use your fists, you testosterone ridden idiots. You're supposed to be the good guys, the role models, the ones who make the rest of us look bad! Not fighting petty squabbles in the middle of the city and ignoring a poor damsel in distress. So piece of advice, whatever you're fighting about maybe you should consider talking and reasoning it out like adults. Now suck it up and give me some damn directions before I put my boot up your spandex clad asses!" shouted Aria.

Harry thought it was a rather impressive speech barring the damsel in distress remark because there were several things Aria was; a damsel in distress was not one of them. Her speech was heard by all the fighters and Harry saw several of their jaws drop with shock. Several others were wearing slightly sheepish expressions as they shifted about awkwardly.

"Don't just stand there gaping like a bunch of fish give me the damn directions you knuckleheads! I have reservations!" shouted Aria.

"I think you broke them." commented Harry as he eyed all the stunned and slightly gaping heroes. He rather doubted anyone had ever given them such a public dressing down. He also doubted it had been a long time since anyone ever insulted them so blatantly. Aria was not anyone and would lash out at anyone she felt deserving.

"Oh come on. Directions people I need directions! What do I have to throw myself off a building or something to get your attention!" shouted Aria.

"Aria I don't think you're really helping things." said Harry nervously.

"I don't have time for this, useless the lot of you." said Aria. She swirled her right arm making a brief waving motion with her fingers. Harry, recognizing what she was about to do ran forward to stop her but he was too late. There was a puff of smoke and when it cleared all the gathered heroes were sporting large, fluffy white rabbit ears.

"Why did you do that? They didn't do anything to you. You didn't have to jinx them." said Harry, glaring at his sister who was completely unabashed.

"Just be thankful I chose to make additions, I nearly went with subtracting." stated Aria.

"You do know there are some women there right?" asked Harry.

"Oh I know the women would have still gotten additions but the rest of them wouldn't have." replied Aria easily.

"Well there was still no call for that. They hadn't done anything to you. I just hope they don't decide to throw us in jail or something." said Harry.

"Well I thought it would get their attention." said Aria simply.

"I'd say it worked" said Harry dryly. He saw several people reach up and stroke their new additions. Some sported mystified looks while others were obviously less than pleased with the new additions to their anatomy.

"Now are you going to give directions? Or do you want tails to go with that?" asked Aria.

Harry just groaned and shook his head. If Aria got them arrested again he was never going to talk to her. She was more trouble prone than he was though, that was mostly caused by Aria's tendency to instigate trouble whereas he usually had the misfortune of landing right in the middle of it. Like now. Well at least things couldn't get much worse or so he hoped.

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A/N: My side of the Civil War lost then ended up being the winner later on. The Civil War also made me very anti-Tony Stark for a while. I must say that I prefer the movie-verse version of him better. Mostly because I don't see movie Tony making the same choices.

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	6. Plum: Harry Visits Trenton

**Harry Visits Trenton**

**Warning:** T

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Beta:** pinkrose14

**Summary:** Crossover with the Plum series by Janet Evanovich. Fred and George are expanding their business to the states meanwhile Harry is trying to capture a renegade Death Eater seen in the same area. Stephanie Plum a regular Jersey girl and below average bounty hunter is also on the hunt in an effort to cover this month's rent.

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Harry threw himself under a table the moment he saw the glob of mashed potatoes fly through the air. Moments later the air was thick with flying food and Harry cursed under his breath. He was supposed to be apprehending Yaxley who was slowly making his way to the door. He quickly cast a weak impervious charm to keep him from being completely pelted with food. He already had a decent amount of mashed potatoes and various other sides in his hair and stuck on his clothes.

As Harry made his way across what was quickly becoming a food warzone, he failed to notice a brunette woman attempting to do the same. The woman was Stephanie Plum, a pretty brunette and she was also attempting to apprehend someone. Her suspect was close on Yaxley's heels, taking advantage of the current chaos. She was determined not to let the man flee, he was complete scum: a rapist and wife beater, plus she really needed the rent money.

Harry made it to the door just as Yaxley did and he tackled the man to the ground. Unfortunately, the man behind Yaxley had been not been able to stop his forward momentum and collided with Harry and Yaxley. Harry was pulling himself off the ground as Stephanie barreled forward. Luckily, Harry had managed to get out of the way; however, the same could not be said for Yaxley and the other man. They were knocked to the ground once again and looked slightly dazed.

"I don't get paid enough for this." complained Stephanie as she pulled herself off the floor.

Harry listened to her complaints good-humoredly. He then placed a couple discreet spells on both men that would keep them from running or causing too much trouble. Once that was done he turned back into the restaurant ready to give a certain pair of red-headed twins a piece of his mind. He spotted them trying to make a discrete getaway out the back door.

"You know when I said I wanted a distraction I did not mean start a bloody food fight." said Harry, annoyance lacing his voice.

"Sorry about that but you did say to keep it muggle." responded Fred cheerfully.

"You said if you had to call the Obliviators again-"added George.

"—then we would be visiting St." continued Fred.

"—Mungo's and we wanted to take you-" said George.

"—seriously, and it was in our humble opinion a brilliant distraction." finished both twins with a grin.

"This is the last time I let you talk me into taking you anywhere near a case. In fact this is the last time I let you within a kilometer of an active case. I need to go make sure that Yaxley gets picked up by the appropriate people." stated Harry.

"All right, don't get your knickers in a twist Harrykins" said Fred with a grin. Harry just rolled his eyes at the red head. He slipped out the alleyway and headed towards the front of the building. He was pleased to see that an American Auror had arrived to collect Yaxley. He also noticed there was a muggle police car and a dark SUV parked in front of the restaurant.

Harry approached the auror easily and gave the man a small nod which was returned. The auror grabbed Yaxley by the shoulders and pulled him into a standing position. He then dragged the disoriented man towards a non-descript navy car.

He was getting ready to leave when he caught a bit of the conversation the brunette was having with one of the policemen.

"We knew it was you when we heard the report of a food fight. It looks like you actually caught the guy this time at least." he said.

"Oh shut it Carlos." said the woman. Glaring at the man as he laughed at her he noticed there was another man watching the conversation with amusement.

"Excuse me." said Harry. He casually strolled up to the group ignoring the surprise stares that he garnered. He added sheepishly, "I think I might be partially to blame for that."

"See? I told you it wasn't my fault this time." said Stephanie triumphantly.

"I will of course be paying for any damages. I was here on a case and some friends of mine may be partially responsible for this mess." said Harry.

"You're not from around here are you?" asked Carlos.

"No I'm from London but I was sent here because I'd gotten some reliable intel that Yaxley and some of his associates were hiding in the area. He will be expedited to London shortly." replied Harry. His attention was diverted for a moment as he saw a cloaked figure throw something at Yaxley. Harry caught it instinctively as his seeker reflexes kicked in. He looked down and realized it was an explosive of sorts. Without thinking he immediately tossed it away. It landed right next to a small red Honda and exploded moments later, sending everyone scrambling for cover.

"My car!" shouted Stephanie.

"Babe" said the dark skinned man, clearly amused.

"I just got that one!" shouted Stephanie who stared at the smoldering remains of her car dejectedly.

"Oops" said Harry sheepishly.

* * *

**A/N:** I expect this one will be less recognizable but I quite like the series and thought this would be a fun one-shot. I now have a wonderful beta for this series and the Recital of Aria Black. So a huge thanks to _**pinkrose14**._

Reviews are welcome as always

l

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	7. Twilight: Meet the Parents

**Meet the Parents**

**Disclaimer:** Created by someone else. Not mine just borrowing.

**Warning:** T

**Beta:** pinkrose14

**Summary:** Harry is in Forks for the year and is forced to enroll in high school. He makes fast friends with some of the students in the area. Set after OotP and during Twilight.

* * *

Harry stands on the sidelines next to Bella watching as the Cullens played. His years keeping an eye on the snitch helped him see their movement bit even then he still missed some things. He barely caught it when Emmett hit a homerun, or what would have been a homerun if Edward hadn't caught the ball. He now understood a thunderstorm was necessary as the game continued. The sound of the ball being hit by the bat was thunderous and when Jasper collided with Carlisle when racing to one of the bases the sound echoed off the mountains. Harry was quite sure they were making some poor muggles nervous as they proceeded to make enough noise for several thunderstorms. He watched Edward catch the third out and sprint towards him and Bella. He moved out of the way, happy to let the happy couple have some time to themselves.

"What do you think?" he asked.*

"One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major League Baseball again." Bella said.

"And it sounds like you did so much of that before," Edward said with a laugh.

"I am a little disappointed." Bella said teasingly.

"Why?" Edward asked, puzzled.

"Well, it would be nice if I could find just one thing you didn't do better than everyone else on the planet." Bella replied.

"Harry what did you think?" asked Edward turning to the raven-haired boy.

"It was good but still not as good as Quidditch." answered Harry with a smirk.

"We'll see about there still a few more innings left. I'm up," Edward said, heading for the plate.

"You know one of these days you're going to have to explain why Quidditch is so great." Bella said.

"I will it's an excellent sport. It's a bit like football." Harry said with a grin.

"Football, huh? I pegged you as more of a cricket player," Bella teased. Her remark was heard by all the players who all laughed slightly.

"That's a vicious stereotype," Harry said with a mock pout. He knew that Bella's remark was more of a comment on his slight frame and not his nationality. It was something of an inside joke between the two of them.

Harry watched as the game continued and the score continued to fluctuate with every pitch. He listened to them razz each other with amusement which deepened whenever Esme called them to order. The thunder continued to rumble on but the clearing stayed dry just as Alice predicted. He was tempted to ask her about teaching Divination as she would be a great deal better than Trelawney, and the fact that she wouldn't predict his death constantly was just an added bonus. He felt the wind shift slightly and looked up and heard Alice gasp. He saw the family tense and watched as Edward rushed to Bella's side.

"Alice?" Esme asked her voice tense.

"What is it, Alice?" asked Carlisle his voice was calm, one of authority.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought" Alice murmured and Harry understood immediately the vampires that he'd sensed in the area were coming now. He fingered the protective charm around his neck; it was a gift from Luna that she'd given him shortly before he had been moved to Forks. She told him it would keep the nargles out of his head and protect him from the wimblebaums and he'd taken it mostly to be polite. As it turned out the necklace apparently masked his scent from vampires among other things. He knew that he could protect himself from the new arrivals, but Bella could not. He nearly missed Carlisle's question while he was thinking to himself and had to strain to catch it.

"How soon?" Carlisle said, turning toward Edward.

A look of intense concentration crossed Edward's face. He answered with a scowl, "Less than five minutes. They're running—they want to play."

"Can you make it?" Carlisle asked him, his eye flickered towards Bella then Harry.

"No, not carrying—" Edward said but he cut short. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" Emmett asked Alice.

"Three," she answered tersely.

"Three!" Emmett scoffed. "Let them come."

Carlisle deliberated, it was only a split second but it felt a good deal longer to Harry. Emmett remained unperturbed, but the rest of the Cullens stared at Carlisle with anxious eyes.

"Let's just continue the game," Carlisle finally decided, his voice cool and level. "Alice said they were simply curious."

The entire conversation had been said in a flurry of words but Harry had managed to catch most of it even without using magic. He saw Esme turn to Edward and decided to see how Bella was faring. She knew that their visitors would not be as benign as the Cullens were, and he knew that she had to be at least slightly nervous. He found that she was taking the existence of the supernatural fairly well in any case. He wondered what her reaction would be when he finally got around to telling her that he was a wizard. As far as she or the Cullens knew he was a human with special abilities. He hadn't told them about magic yet. He no longer had to worry about the Statue of Secrecy though as Bella now knew about vampires.

"Bella take this." Harry said lifting the charm from around his neck and handing it to Bella.

"I can't take this Harry, it's yours." she said pushing the necklace towards him.

"Take it. Please, you need it more than I do. Here," said Harry and he dropped the necklace over her head, ignoring her squeak of protest.

He saw Jasper, Edward, and Alice look at him once the necklace was gone and knew that their gifts now worked on him. He pulled his wand from the holster and held it tightly. He wasn't actually too worried after everything he had seen vampires weren't all that scary. Maybe if he had never met Fluffy, the troll, acromantulas, blast-ended screwts, and various other creatures who had tried to kill him over the years.

"You catch, Esme," Edward said. "I'll call it now."

The others returned to the field. warily sweeping the dark forest with their sharp eyes, though Harry could see them glance periodically at him and Bella. Alice, Jasper, and Esme seemed to orient themselves around where we stood.

"What did you do?" Edward asked Harry.

"I gave Bella my necklace it will block her scent from any vampires. You can smell my scent now though I'm not sure how appetizing I smell. I'm guessing you can read my mind now too." replied Harry.

"Yes. Your scent is good, but not particularly appetizing." Edward said.

"Good at least I don't have to worry about them trying to eat me." Harry said with a grin.

"Harry, you should still be careful. These vampires, once they decide to hunt nothing will stop them." Jasper advised.

"I know I will be." Harry said.

Carlisle stood at the plate, and the others joined the game halfheartedly. Harry could practically see the tension radiating off them as their glances flickered between the forest, Bella and him. the seconds ticked by; the game progressed with apathy now. No one dared to hit harder than a bunt, and Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper hovered in the infield. He noticed that Rosalie's eyes continued to find their way towards himself and Bella. He could see that her mouth was tight at the corners, no doubt angry and Harry couldn't really blame her. She believed that the humans were endangering her family and Harry fully understood her sentiments. He would not let anyone be endangered because of him and if he had to fight the new arrivals off himself he would.

"I'm sorry, I was the one who put you in danger, both of you," he muttered fiercely. "It was irresponsible, to expose both of you like this. I'm so sorry."

Harry started to respond, ready to tell Edward that there was nothing to feel sorry for, that he had gotten himself into far worse predicaments than this. He was the one who decided to come, and if anything he was the one who should be sorry because if Voldemort ever found out about the Cullens then they would all be in danger. He had just wanted to normal and perhaps protect his friends, and instead he was endangering new ones. However at that moment they were interrupted by the approaching vampires. Harry saw Edward take a half step, angling himself between Bella and the approaching strangers with Alice and Jasper doing the same for him. Carlisle, Emmett, and the others turned in the same direction, hearing sounds of passage much too faint for Harry to hear. A few seconds later he saw them.

They emerged one by one from the forest edge, ranging a dozen meters apart. The first male into the clearing fell back immediately, allowing the other male to take the front, orienting himself around the tall dark-haired man in a manner that was a clear display of who led the pack. Or an attempt at least despite their distance Harry noticed that when the first male moved back it was with the air of someone relinquishing the reins. He was quite sure the display was just for show and that the first male was the one in charge. After all he had arrived first even if he had immediately moved back. The third was a woman; from their current distance, he could see her hair which was a vibrant red.

They closed ranks before they continued cautiously toward Edward's family. They were wary but Harry could see the natural respect they held for the Cullens. As they approached Harry could see that they had a feral air about them that was less noticeable in the Cullens. They wore the outfits of ordinary backpackers, jeans and casual button-down shirts in heavy, waterproof fabrics. The clothes were frayed, though, with wear, and they were barefoot. They were closer now and he could see their features clearly. A moment later he was quite sure that his brain was no longer functioning properly.

He stared at the leader and the red-headed woman standing next to him with incredulity. It was not possible, there was no possibility he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. He was seeing things there was simply no other possibility. He was not seeing Lily and James Potter standing in front of him and they were definitely not vampires. He was just imagining things after all his parents were dead. He didn't notice everyone staring at him with worry when he seized up on seeing the new vampires.

"His scent it's familiar. I know it but I can't remember where it's from." the woman said.

* * *

**A/N:** I find it a great coincidence that the trio of vampires had one red-head and one was named James. After reading several Harry Potter and Twilight crossovers I found it an even more hilarious coincidence. Which I decided would be fun to write about. Most of the dialogue is quoted/paraphrased directly from the book.


	8. Justice League: Temporary Location

**Temporary Relocation**

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine T-T

**Beta:** pinkrose14

**Warning:** Older T

**Summary:** Harry and several others are temporarily relocated to America. Hogwarts was severely damaged during the fight with the Death Eaters and the school will be closed for a term in order to complete the repairs. Harry ends up staying in Gotham and meets several interesting people. Set after HBP and the last few chapters are AU.

* * *

Harry stared at the plain white walls around him absently. He was working on a potions assignment with Ron and Hermione though he really wasn't paying much attention. He continued to stare blankly at the walls as he thought about his last term of Hogwarts and the summer that followed it. He and Dumbledore had gone to retrieve the horcrux only it turned out to be fake, then the Death Eaters had managed to wreck parts of the castle so badly that the repairs wouldn't be finished for at least another term.

Professor McGonagall became the acting headmistress and immediately made arrangements to relocate students who Voldemort might target specifically. She had sent them all to America with arrangements to return once the school was repaired. Harry had protested but he had but shut down and forced to move along with the Dursley's for the summer. As he still needed the protection offered to him by the blood wards until his seventeenth birthday. Hermione, Ron, and he had all started making plans to return to England to hunt down the horcruxes once Harry's seventeenth birthday passed. In the meantime though they were trying to appear as normal as possible this meant doing homework, or at least attempting it. They did not intend to let anyone know until the last minute that they would not be attending Hogwarts.

"Harry come on we have to finish this assignment." said Hermione interrupting his internal reverie.

"I don't see why we still have to do school work. It's still summer!" Ron complained as he continued to chop flobberworms into pieces for the potion they were working on.

"Just because Hogwarts is closed does not mean we can neglect our studies. Besides it's for the best we study as much as possible." Hermione said.

"Glad Snape's not here. Always knew he was a traitor the great greasy bat." Ron added as he put the flobberworms bits into the cauldron turning his potion a vivid pink.

Harry merely grunted, an angry feeling simmering in the pit of his stomach, as it often did when the ex-potions master came up. He knew that Snape was a traitor. He wouldn't hesitate to curse the man if they ever crossed paths again. He grabbed a pestle off the desk and started grinding Ashwinder scales to appease Hermione who was drilling holes in the back of his head with her eyes.

"Ron you were supposed to stir it clockwise three times before adding the flobberworms." Hermione said as she immediately moved to fix the potion which was now an acid green and emitting dark fumes.

"Right, sorry. I still don't get why Slughorn gave us a Lineage potion. Besides it's not like this potion will really help us against You-Know-Who." Ron said as he moved out of Hermione's way, letting her fix the potion.

"Voldemort" Harry said, ignoring Ron's shudders at the name.

"It's still important." insisted Hermione.

"You say that about all homework Mione" Ron said rolling his eyes at the bushy haired girl who glared at him.

"Well I think it might be nice to see my family tree." said Hermione.

"I agree I think it would be interesting to see my family tree." said Harry wistfully.

"Well don't worry mate the potion should be finished in another hour and then we'll be able to see our family trees." Hermione said cheerfully as she and Ron both exchanged worried glances over Harry's head. They knew that families were a bit of a sensitive subject for the raven-haired teen.

"At least we're allowed to see each other. I can't believe McGonagall put us in separate cities." Ron said in a transparent attempt to change the subject.

"I think that was your mum's fault Ron, she thinks we're up to something." said Hermione.

"Well it's not like Voldemort is going to defeat himself while we do essays on Asphodel properties. Once I'm seventeen I'm going back." said Harry.

"We're going with you." said Hermione.

"Are you sure that-" Harry started but he was cut off by Hermione who briskly grabbed the pestle from his hands having managed to turn the potion the proper magenta color. She proceeded to add in the powdered scales before adding four counterclockwise stirs. Then she turned towards Harry.

"We're in this together Harry we have been for years." Hermione said giving him an exasperated look that she shared with Ron.

"Yeah mate we're not turning back now." Ron added.

"I've already converted my saving accounts to cash and I've started doing some research on horcruxes." Hermione said.

"Yeah besides you've still got the trace" Ron said.

"I know" Harry said grumpily.

"Well technically the trace only applies back in Britain. America is actually quite lax in their secrecy rules which are mostly because of all the meta-humans they've got running around. We can use magic in front of the muggles as long as they don't know it's magic." Hermione said in what Ron liked to call her lecture voice.

"Well with all those costumed nutters running around it probably necessary." Ron said, rolling his eyes at Hermione.

"They are not nutters Ron" Hermione said indignantly.

"They flash people," said Ron.

"What?" asked Harry with incredulity.

"Yeah everyone was talking about this guy and apparently he goes around flashing people. There's a whole group of them." Ron insisted.

"Ron the twins were lying," Harry said as he guessed Ron's source of information.

"Oh, honestly they don't flash people, Flash is the name of one of the superheroes. In fact he is the resident hero of Central City where you are staying right now. Just like Batman is Gotham's hero and Superman is Metropolis' hero." Hermione said impatiently.

"How's the potion coming along?" Harry asked in order to forestall the argument he could see coming as Ron opened his mouth.

"Good it just needs to simmer. While it's doing that we should get the parchment ready." said Hermione.

"Ok, it's in your bag right?" Harry asked her.

"Yes" Hermione said.

Harry went over to the bag and found a stack of parchments at the top. He separated them and placed them on the table that was next to the table the cauldron was sitting on. He spread them out as Hermione walked over to help him. She waved her wand in a complex motion over the three pieces of parchment and casted the spell non-verbally.

"Ok once the potion is done we'll have to separate it into individual vials and add a drop of blood to each." Hermione said, smoothing out the pieces of parchment.

"Blood?" Ron asked, looking disgusted.

"Yes, the potion needs a drop of blood in order to trace a person's lineage which is why this potion is so complicated." Hermione said simply.

"Well I guess it's just a good thing we don't have to drink it." Ron said.

"It probably couldn't taste worse than skelegrow or polyjuice." Harry commented, having drank several vile tasting potions over the years.

"Yes, well we won't be drinking it once we've added the blood we have to let the parchment soak in the potion for twenty-four hours and then we'll be able to see our family trees." Hermione explained.

* * *

_24 Hours Later_

"Now these only go back five or six generations but they are quite detailed. The names will show up in different colors depending on their magical lineage. It also shows marriages, deaths, and name changes." Hermione said as she divvied up the pieces of parchment and handed them out appropriately.

"Wow" Harry murmured as he gazed at the parchment in his hands. It had been crammed with several lines and names in different colors.

"Apparently I have a great great aunt who was a squib." Hermione said a few minutes later.

"Apparently one of the Weasley's married a Black a while back. Hey look at this apparently I'm distantly related to that bloke Wally West, apparently there was a squib line a while back." Ron commented as he glanced over his own parchment.

"Harry?" Hermione asked glancing over at her best friend who was staring at his parchment rapturously.

"I have family Mione." Harry said softly still studying the parchment in his hands. He had -studied it carefully, following each line to the next name. He was looking at two names in particular as he said this, Bruce Wayne and Martha Kent. They were his closest relation with Bruce being on his father's side and Martha being on his mother's side.

"That's great Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Yeah mate." Ron agreed.

"Now we just need to find them." Hermione squealed.

"No." Harry said shortly, his good mood dissipating almost instantly at her words. He was not going to drag anyone else into this war. The second his seventeenth birthday passed he was going to start hunting horcruxes along with Hermione and Ron, who made it clear that they were coming with him no matter what. He had spent a sleepless night thinking about it and decided that he would not act on it if he did have relatives. He could not risk drawing anyone else into the war. So he viciously squashed any hope the names had elicited.

"Why not mate?" Ron asked.

"In case you've forgotten there is an evil Dark Lord out to kill me and anyone too close to me. I'm not putting them in harm's way because of me." Harry said shortly.

"Them? Harry do you already know them?" Hermione asked.

"No." Harry lied.

"Fine, but you're going to have to tell them eventually." Hermione huffed, crossing her arms and glaring at Harry.

* * *

**A/N:** Ron's Flash comment was inspired by Lightning Stikes-DarkPhoenix713 I found it ridiculously hilarious or least poor Harry's mistake was. I have switched this to the main archive because I have seen a few other series like this under the main part and there will also be several one-shots that are set strictly in the HP-verse.


	9. Harry Potter: Not Twins

**At Least There's Only One**

**Disclaimer:** Belongs to Rowling

**Warning:** T

**Summary:** Ginny and Harry receive yet another letter from McGonagall on James' behavior. 100 exactly.

* * *

"It's another letter from McGonagall. This is your fault you named him after two of Hogwarts greatest pranksters." Ginny said.

"He gets it from your side of the family too. Gred and Forge were pranksters too." Harry argued.

"Yes but their role models were the Marauders." Ginny rebutted.

"They were pranksters before they even had the influence of Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs." Harry said.

"At we didn't have twins." Ginny remarked dryly.

"True." Harry snorted.

* * *

**A/N:** Just a humorous little drabble that I wrote with a one-shot on my version of how Albus Potter got which I need to tweak a little then send to my wonderful beta. For the sake of clarity all crossovers will have the second category listed while non-crossovers are listed as Harry Potter: Title in the chapter list.


End file.
